FIGHT OR FLIGHT
August 2, 2018
The mind is the most powerful design of the human body. The term ‘Fight or Flight’ represents the mind and body’s capability to decide how we choose to combat physical and/or emotional trauma and stress. This abstract painting is my own personal idea of how I have to make the choice everyday to not let anxiety or things from the past distort my belief of what will happen in the future. When my husband deploys or goes flying, it is especially a constant battle and every day struggle to defeat wild and vividly anxious thoughts and not let them consume me. There were times when I was awake an entire night shaking to the core, worrying about my husband, and wondering if my body will ever calm down again. It eventually got so bad to the point where I would be physically sick for hours.
Being alone without family and my husband being away was a big part of my anxiety. When I started listening to Joyce Meyer and her sermons on fear and worry, my panic attacks finally started to lessen, and I was able to use her spiritual guidance as a resource to help me through the night when nobody was there. This is also where a huge part of my faith started to grow, and I realized I had to accept that I cannot take on these “battles” alone. I needed the Lord by my side every moment.
If you are someone who lives in constant fear, you are not alone. By getting myself out in the community and talking to other military wives, veterans, and those who have anxiety, depression or even cases of PTSD, I heard a few stories that really helped put things in perspective, but at the same time made me feel understood even if my own story was different or less of an extreme case. By reaching out to others, I observed that, humans in general are very emotional and sensitive beings, and it’s just how we are designed whether we let it show or not. As a survival mechanism, we are pressured by society to not reveal emotion or weakness so that we can feel accepted and liked by others . However, if we do not learn how to deal with our emotional issues face-on and thoroughly, they will continue to grow to a breaking point where we may need to seek professional help.
In the Bible, Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a help meet for him.” But if humans were never designed to function or live life on this earth alone, then why is one of the hardest things in the world to ask for help? When I had finally let go of my pride in trying to handle my anxiety and panic attacks on my own and went and saw a professional counselor, something flickered and gave me a little ounce of hope when I knew I could rely on something or someone bigger than myself. I also saw getting help as the opportunity to gain knowledge and insight on my condition so that someday I could help another person struggling the same issues.
Anxiety is still a daily struggle, but today I am choosing the ‘fight’ and putting my faith before my fears. What will you choose?